The Real Slim Shady
May I have your attention please
- May I have your attention please
- May I have your attention please
- Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
- I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up
- We're gonna have a problem here
- Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
- Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
- And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
- They first were divorced throwin' her over furniture aww
- It's the return of the ah wait no way you're kidding
- He didn't just say what I think he did did he
- And Dr. Dre said nothing you idiots
- Dr. Dre's dead he's locked in my basement ha ha
- Feminist women love Eminem
- Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
- Look at him walkin' around grabbin' his you know what
- Flippin' the you know who yeah but he's so cute though
- Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
- But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
- Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
- But can't but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
- My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
- And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
- And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
- And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
- Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
- By the time they hit fourth grade
- They've got the Discovery Channel don't they
- We ain't nothin' but mammals well some of us cannibals
- Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
- But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
- Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
- But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
- Women wave your pantyhose sing the chorus and it goes
- I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
- Well I do so f**k him and f**k you too
- You think I give a damn about a Grammy
- Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
- But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird
- Why so you guys could just lie to get me here
- So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
- Sh*t Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
- So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
- And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
- Little b**ch put me on blast on MTV
- Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim hee hee
- I should download her audio on MP3
- And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
- I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
- All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
- And there's a million of us just like me
- Who cuss like me who just don't give a f**k like me
- Who dress like me walk talk and act like me
- And just might be the next best thing but not quite me
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- I'm like a head trip to listen to
- 'Cause I'm only givin' you
- Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
- The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
- And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
- I just get on the mic and spit it
- And whether you like to admit it I just sh*t it
- Better than 90% of you rappers out can
- Then you wonder how can
- Kids eat up these albums like Valiums
- It's funny 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
- I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
- Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
- And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
- And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
- He could be working at Burger King spittin' on your onion rings
- Or in the parking lot circling screaming I don't give a f**k
- With his windows down and his system up
- So will the real Shady please stand up
- And put one of those fingers on each hand up
- And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
- And one more time loud as you can how does it go
- I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- 'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
- All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
- So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
- Please stand up please stand up
- Ha ha I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
- F**k it let's all stand up
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